"When the smile is not enough," by Angie Monroy

Today is one of those days where the smile is not enough, in that it is inevitable to feel bad, those days in which the body is tired, the mind is in the last steps of his marathon, and don't really take it any more...

Today is one of those days in which the autoabrazos do not cover the share of sadness and smiles in front of the mirror weigh much so that the face would hurt the muscles to pretend...and yes, it is okay to leave to drain the river of pain often unexplained, and it is better to leave to rest is resting, drawing perhaps do you Write?, If, so what do I do, since a few years after birth, just learned to write...writing stories, or experiences at my young age, I wrote to the happiness, to the magic and sadness. This feeling I discovered it, I met him and learned to live and not to cover, or if, at one time or another: why, in my time (still lives) when I was little wouldn't let us put sad, evaded that feeling with anything else as if to be sad to be something bad...

In order to...

They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul and my eyes no longer support a tear more and I wonder if it is a sequel of the disease, or perhaps do I have some other bad?. The mind on a broad canvas what if it is blank and leave total freedom to draw what they really think and feel we may have as a result a work dull, depressive and unfavorable for the altibajo, But you know?...after overcoming a disease as it is the cancer people think and to myself I thought that I still have a lot of life ahead of you, that it's all finished here, I can start from scratch and yes, by more that these things are real, there is only one reality and that is that my visits to the doctor will continue, that I shall continue to live with the fear infallible that I can return to get sick, the monster that bullied me to die again at any time, that I neglect in a moment, and you see the shadow of what I had...my ups and downs due to the fear of ghost injections of the chemo or the rays of the radio, hospital admissions and the weakness with which the body remains, of dedicating to the clinical years of my life and the deterioration of my health, request appointments, and to fight again to be fine.

All these thoughts come to my mind and don't call, they come alone as well as the ocean waves coming to the shore...so I get these thoughts all the time, if, is the anxiety that gives me slip... that sadness that I generated by the aftermath, for the life and the experience I try to slow it down with my medal of overcoming, with my best weapon is love and love to my daughter, life and God.

Deep breath and I remember that little girl running and smiling, that little girl that was born of my is the shot of energy that it took me to not fall into that deep sadness that you can generate to think of more. My grandma's that a year ago it took the cancer is my good luck charm, my light and my guide. She was a woman who fought and lived, taught, and loved, and all this from the resilience that is formed in your soul,in your body and in your heart to confront the stones of the life with love and acceptance, she taught me that life continues and we can never know that it will happen, but what we do know is that come what may, and as it comes, there will always be a solution. There will always be moments of calm and moments of turbulence, and we have the helm, the control and you know how to handle it and what direction to take.

Thanks to her not me I fall, I fall a thousand times but don't let me sink.

To her I dedicate this writing, for her, for you.

Life goes on, we are the ones we live it and as we know how to write it, or paint it, pourtray even his young bride, to dance it...feel it.

Thanks for reading.