Cancer is a complex subject dealing with any person, but it can be especially difficult to speak of him with the boys and girls. Parents and other adults can have difficulty finding the right words to explain to their children with a diagnosis of cancer and, at the same time, try to avoid worries or fears unnecessary.
That's why we created this blog, with a collection of tips and recommendations of some specialists for talking with children about cancer:
1. Ask if you have any questions
It is important to give children the opportunity to talk about their feelings and ask questions. This is applied in school, at home and in the hospital. When you talk to them about the cancer, let them lead the conversation. It is possible to make some tough questions, but it is important to give them the possibility to express themselves and be able to address any questions that might arise.
2. Never force a child to discuss things that are not comfortable talking
It can be tempting to try to provide answers or advice to children facing their own diagnosis or that of a family member. Of course, to some it may be uncomfortable to talk about cancer. If you do not want to talk about something, it is important to respect you. Just let them know that you're there if you ever want to talk.
3. Acknowledge their feelings
It is common for children facing cancer are sad or angry. Okay. Don't try to change their feelings; instead, it demonstrates that you understand how they feel and apóyalos. Sometimes, children may not want to talk about it and prefer their own space for a while. That's okay too.
4. Read a book together
There are many books that help tell the story and do it with great subtlety and sensitivity. “The bulk of mom”, for example, was written by Gillian Forrest, a child psychiatrist, consultant and principal investigator of the University of Oxford, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990, when their children were five and seven years. It is a book for families who want to speak with your children about breast cancer. It was the first book of the United Kingdom that helps young children with mothers who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Has the look and feel of a book of short stories classic for children, and continues to Elly and Jack as they learn about the diagnosis and treatment of his mother to breast cancer.
5. Looking for additional support
Allow yourself to you and your child get the emotional support and practical that they both need, whether family, friends or experts. The professionals of the school may also be useful for the guidance, in addition to providing information about how it operates your child in the school.
6. Keep the same routines.
When someone in the family has cancer, changes may occur in the lifestyle and the hours of the day. Try to keep the routine, schedules and day to day tasks. This will not affect both children.
7. Reassure them that it is not your fault
Children may feel guilty or responsible for the cancer diagnosis of their parents or family members. Reassure them that the cancer is not due to anything they have done or failed to do and that they are not to blame.
8. Use help and visual resources
The smaller ones tend to respond well to visual aids, such as images, diagrams, or videos. Can be a useful tool to explain the diagnosis and the treatment process.
Spend quality time with the kids
It is important to spend quality time with your children. But we know that the treatment, hospital stays, or the side effects may make this more difficult. There are easy ways to share positive experiences with your children, even if you are busy or recovering from treatment.
If you need to stay in the hospital, looking for ways to stay in touch. Set a regular schedule to call home, give them a picture to save or send a card, letter or e-mail, or simply enjoy a story over the phone.
Prepare your children for the things that you will see during your visit to the hospital, such as tubes or medical devices. If teens want to accompany you on appointments, it may be useful to them. Understand how the process of treatment can be reassuring.
Family activities in the home need not be costly. Just spend time with your children will be much appreciated. Watch tv and play cards or board games can be good options if you don't have a lot of power. Ask your children which will show you what they have been doing at school or go for a walk. Make drawings or write stories about the family life can help younger children to express their feelings. It's important to be more united and stronger than ever.
Nathaly Bosch
Social communicator and Collaborator for Group Morivivi.
